SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY
OH MY GOD
THIS IS SO HORRIBLY PERFECT
I LOVE IT
this is the most terrible thing i have ever seen
it’s perfect
today I went to Barnes & Noble and as I was rounding a bookshelf, this woman walked past and farted SO loudly
and she put her head down and speed-walked out of there you know and I didn’t laugh even though I wanted to, but there were these 2 girls sitting at a table and I looked at them and grinned really big because hey, we just all just experienced this mildly hilarious thing
but they just gave me strange looks in return
and as I continued on my way I realized it was very likely they’d only heard the noise, not seen the culprit, and it was very likely that I was the only person they’d seen in the vicinity
so not only did they think I let out this incredibly loud fart in the middle of a bookstore, I LOOKED AT THEM AND GRINNED LIKE A LUNATIC RIGHT AFTER
like I was proud of it or something
oh god let me die
